Sarah Hoover Finally Got the Version of New Motherhood That You Expect When You’re Expecting
Seven years after the traumatic birth of her first child sent her into a spiral of severe postpartum depression, the former art dealer—and first-time author—seems reborn.
Read any of the best-selling pregnancy and parenting books and they’ll paint a pretty similar picture of new motherhood. Or, read none of them, which is what Sarah Hoover did when she was pregnant with her son eight years ago, and the picture will be more or less the same. Because, books aside, everyone—every woman you went to high school with and celebrity on social media, every stranger in the supermarket who notices your bump—and all of pop culture tells you that the first moments of motherhood are wonderful and magical and filled with a love like no other.
But for Sarah—then an art dealer at Gagosian, a global network of galleries—new motherhood didn’t match the picture in her head. Following a series of traumatic experiences in the delivery room, Sarah’s introduction to motherhood in October of 2017 felt like … nothing. “No overwhelming love or happiness, no excitement, not even curiosity.” In the days and weeks that followed, the nothingness would be replaced by anguish, brain fog, and rage—and incessant dreams in which her newborn son died a dozen different (but equally gruesome) ways. It would take months for her to be diagnosed with severe postpartum depression, and years for her to process the circumstances that led her there. The final pages of The Motherload, Sarah’s just-published memoir, take us through April of 2021 (about six months past her son’s third birthday) and end on a hopeful note, but the hopefulness feels precariously fragile.
So we’re pleased to report that 2025 Sarah (now the mother of two: 7-year-old Guy and 9-month-old Winifred) appears to be truly happy and totally at ease—like a phoenix rising from the ashes of her former self. Find out why (and learn about her favorite things, mostly food-related) below.
GODMOTHERS: What kinds of books do you read?
SARAH HOOVER: I read mostly fiction and mostly books written by women. I like to read old books, so everyone’s always like, “What new books are you looking forward to reading?” And I don’t know the names of any books that are about to come out. I have a laundry list of 50-year-old books that I’ve been meaning to get to.
GODMOTHERS: What old book are reading right now?
SH: I was in a bookstore in Palm Beach yesterday and I picked up a copy of A Room of One’s Own with a cover that I had never seen. So I’m about to start re-reading that.
GODMOTHERS: What did you read as a child?
SH: Nancy Drew was my first love. And my grandmother gave me The Camp Fire Girls series, which I’m sure doesn’t exist anymore. I had a brief bout with Sweet Valley High, and I’m sure that portrayal of female beauty fucked me up for life. But really, I preferred stories with suspense, so Nancy Drew was it for me, until I guess high school, when I read The Great Gatsby.
GODMOTHERS: What happened then?
SH: It really changed my life. I wanted to start reading things that made me feel like that.
GODMOTHERS: You mentioned Valley of the Dolls in your book—and “the sleep cure.” I think about the sleep cure at least once a week.
SH: We all deserve the sleep cure. That book was just amazing to me. I didn’t read it until college, when I had moved from Indiana to New York. I was going through a break-up, and I was all alone in a new city.
GODMOTHERS: I read it at the exact same point in my life, when I had just moved to New York—just like Jennifer, one of the main characters—and I had literally one friend.
SH: I had NO friends. I was so lonely. I know it’s not a “fancy” book, but I still feel like it’s genius.
GODMOTHERS: 100 percent agree. So you just published your first book, your memoir. And you’ve left your career in the art world to focus on writing. What’s your next work of genius?
SH: I want to try writing fiction. I’m taking a writing class and having a lot of fun breaking all of the “rules” I had to follow to write a memoir. It’s nice not to be held back by the truth.
GODMOTHERS: Did you always know you’d read the audiobook version of your memoir?
SH: I didn’t even know there would be an audiobook! But when they told me there would be, I said I really wanted to be the one to read it. Even though I hate the sound of my own voice.
GODMOTHERS: No, hearing it in your voice made it so much better. And hearing you “do” the voices of other people, you’re really good at that. The voice you did for your awful OB-GYN really conveyed exactly the type of person you were dealing with. It made me want to smack her.
SH: Thank you. I appreciate the solidarity.
GODMOTHERS: Your second child, your daughter, was born last April. How was that experience different? I’m assuming you switched doctors? Did you ever confront the OB-GYN who delivered your son?
SH: I went to her office so I could explain that she physically hurt me and really scared me. And her response wasn’t that nice. She was like, “This is just how we do things.” I guess you might think it’s pathetic that I thought I could go back to her. And I did feel, going back to her office, like I was going back to an ex-boyfriend or something, but I wasn’t sure it would be different anywhere else. Like, this might just be how it is, and the devil you know is sometimes better. So I wanted to give her a chance, and I was so hoping she would be like, “Oh my God, Sarah. I’m so sorry.” I was disappointed that she wasn’t more empathetic once I brought it to her attention. And I was like, “OK, you get to keep being the kind of doctor you want to be, but I need to find a different kind of care.”
GODMOTHERS: So you found a different doctor and had a different kind of pregnancy and delivery. I imagine your first almost-year of motherhood has been different this time around?
SH: Oh my God, yes. So different. I’ve found a joy and delight in parenting that I did not find in that first year with Guy. I haven’t had a moment of sadness. It’s crazy.
GODMOTHERS: What’s Guy like now?
SH: He’s hilarious—and so tender and sweet. And he’s reading to himself. I remember being that age and getting lost in a book and the way that changes your world. And being able to read labels at an art museum and look at art by yourself. Reading just opens up all the possibilities in the world for someone.
GODMOTHERS: What’s he reading?
SH: He’s really into zombies and graphic novels. And he reads a lot of old comic books—Spider-Man and Superman from back in the day. He and my husband have been collecting those. I tried to get him into Little House On the Prairie, which my parents read to me, and he was like, “Yeah, no. Not enough death and destruction.”
GODMOTHERS: Too much churning butter.
SH: Exactly. I still read to him at night, and I’m reading him Mary Downing Hahn, which are ghost stories written for kids. I read them when I was his age, so I’m re-reading them to him now.
GODMOTHERS: Moving on from books, how do you get your news?
SH: I check The New York Times, The Washington Post, and The Wall Street Journal apps every day.
GODMOTHERS: What other apps do you use all the time?
SH: Caviar for food delivery, Instagram, and the Health app for checking my steps.
GODMOTHERS: Same, I stalk my step count. So if a “pet peeve” is something that annoys you more than it should, what are your “pet joys”—the things that delight you more than they should at face value?
SH: Half-and-half or full-fat cream in my coffee and tea. The kind of honey that’s more solid, so you scoop it. I put cinnamon on everything. Cinnamon sugar is better than chocolate—you heard it here first. And I love iced tea with simple syrup. In Japan, you can buy little pods of simple syrup that you can throw in your purse. I guess America doesn’t need more readily accessible sugar, but I do love those. And this isn’t a pet joy, it’s a true passion: I love ballet and I’m such a ballet dork that my algorithm is, like, all 12-year-old Russian girls showing off at the barre.
GODMOTHERS: No judgment, we all have our things. What are your favorite local businesses?
SH: There’s a restaurant called Raf’s in my neighborhood that I love. The owners are women who are about my age, and supporting them makes me really happy. My local bookstore is McNally Jackson, which is incredible, and my local coffee shop, The Elk.
GODMOTHERS: Moving on from the East Coast to the West, the name of our store was inspired by “fairy godmothers”—so not “godmothers” in the religious sense, but the magical women in your life who have supported and shaped you. Who are the godmothers who have shaped your life?
SH: My family is nowhere near New York City, so it’s always been really important to me to invest heavily in my friend circle. I have such strong relationships, particularly with women in New York. If I had to name them, Christy Turlington has been so wonderful to me for years. And Noor Tagouri is a wonderful part of my support system. Basically everyone in my giant group of friends.
GODMOTHERS: Do you remember any specific advice any of them gave you?
SH: It’s hard to put a memoir out there, because when people are critical of my work, it feels like they’re criticizing me. It’s been a little bit rough. But there are women in my circle who have encountered that in their own ways. Their perspective has been invaluable.
Join us at Godmothers on February 12, when Sarah Hoover and Jordana Brewster will discuss The Motherload: Episodes from the Brink of Motherhood.
1. A Room Of One’s Own by Virginia Woolf; audiobook.
2. Nancy Drew #2: The Hidden Staircase by Carolyn Keene.
3. The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald; audiobook.
4. Valley of the Dolls by Jacqueline Susann
5. The Doll In the Garden by Mary Downing Hahn (audiobook).
6. The Thirteenth Cat by Mary Downing Hahn (audiobook).
7. Savannah Bee Company Whipped Honey: All Natural Spreadable Honey.
8. Simply Organic Spice Right Everyday Blends Cinnamon Sugar Trio.
Quotes have been edited for length & clarity. All products mentioned were independently selected. If you buy something, we may earn an affiliate commission.
Godmothers Gather: Upcoming Events
5:30 p.m. | Monday, February 3
Game Time: Open-Play Mahjong
With Cynthia McClelland & Sandra Walther
6 p.m. | Friday, February 7
On the Stage: Lisa See
Lady Tan’s Circle of Women
11 a.m. | Saturday, February 8
Storytime: How to Say I Love You
With Godmothers
1 p.m. | Saturday, February 8
Workshop: Tarot-Guided Vision Boarding
With Kasey Blaustein Greener & Angie Banicki
6 p.m. | Saturday, February 8
In Conversation: Andy Corren & Troian Bellisario
Dirtbag Queen
6 p.m. | Wednesday, February 12
In Conversation: Sarah Hoover & Jordana Brewster
The Motherload
6 p.m. | Thursday, February 13
On the Stage: Diana R. Chambers
The Secret War of Julia Child
11 a.m. | Saturday, February 15
Storytime: Fox, Fox & More Fox
With Godmothers
3 p.m. | Sunday, February 16
Workshop: Writing From the Heart
With Diana Raab
6 p.m. | Thursday, February 20
On the Stage: Betsy Lerner
Shred Sisters
6 p.m. | Friday, February 21
On the Stage: Dr. Julie Smith
Open When ...
11 a.m. | Saturday, February 22
Storytime: Thank You
With Godmothers
6 p.m. | Thursday, February 27
On the Stage: Lea Carpenter
Ilium
9:30 a.m. | Saturday, March 1
Book Club
The Surrender Experiment